x2

I keep saying this, but we are busy. Talking to another 2 kid parent, I nodded when they said, "it's intense." I can really say, other than when I'm sleeping, my time is for others. Even blogging, I post in increments thinking of Tesla and Aila & how they might get something out of it, but it is hard to prioritize time for it.

Friends have been amazing ...offering so much help, reminding me I need to have me time. Doing a creative project or spending time alone just seems bizarre now. I am exaggerating a tad, but really, it's not that far off.

Yet, it's totally worth it. I love Aila so much, and Tesla is such a part of my being while I watch as she grows. I love seeing them as sisters, and at times, take a step back to observe them.  Tesla is growing up as a big sister, and Aila will never know life without Tesla.

With just Tesla, I felt I handled mamahood with relative ease. Going back to work was a transition and I remember breaking down at times. Now, that seems easy. My life now is more complicated  with scheduling and keeping up. Thus the "intense" feeling.

To document, our weekday routine is something like this:

• 6am, NPR wakes me up. I get 15 minutes of luxurious NPR in the bed.
• Shower and dress by 6:30, during which I start turning on hallway light to gently wake up T.
• 6:30 til 7:00 I make T's breakfast and bento, while I coax her up unless she's up herself in which case she spends time talking to Aila, in which case I have to push her to get dressed.
• 7:00 to 7:15 get all our stuff ready, Dav is up, Marie helps with Aila if awake , T brushes teeth, I do her hair, she gets socks (which takes forever). I yell that we need to leave. I make sure I have milk pump & cooler with fresh ice packs and clean containers.
• 7:25 ideally we are out the door, but between shoes and walking to car, it's 7:30 by the time I drive away.
• Park, and walk or run to Rosa Parks with T to do Rajio Taiso morning exercises, we go together to the classroom, I help her get settled.
• I drive to work, use brain in an adult way, and try not to miss pumping around 11 and 3.
• 5:30 head back. Stress about getting home in time.
• Open door, drop stuff, put on moby, attach Aila who needs mama time, say Hi to T, start cooking dinner. Start laundry, check T's school bag and get bento box to clean, try to eat all together at table, try to have a bit of connection time with T, if time bathe, but many times it's bed time by the time we are done eating.
• 7:30 Jammies & story time. Dav is a rock star with the jammies & story time routine. 
• Put Aila down. Sit on sofa and veg. Maybe watch something but usually fall asleep before 10. Or if Aila is fussy and I deal with her til she crashes.

I keep thinking of many families who work like this, but with horrendous commutes, or not so great child care, or with little pay. I have much more appreciation for how hard that must be.