Aila is 1 month old

 
Already!

She's gained chubbiness, and I suspect at least 1.5 lbs already. She still sleeps a lot, but has longer bouts of being awake, and focuses on movement. Sometimes it seems as if she's in deep thought, which is unlikely of course, but she just looks more attentive vs. being totally checked out. She drinks with gusto, so much that quite frequently she will start coughing and heaving as if milk went down the wrong pipeway, scarying me sometimes. I don't recall Tesla drinking so fiestily. She pretty much hyperventilates if the boob is even a second late to her demands. She does a lot of cute grunting while she squirms, which I find adorable. I call her my little piglet.

I've been feeling much better lately, with pretty much normal energy, although generally tired from less sleep. Earlier on, I was very tired, and craved hard-core quantities of meat. I thought it was only from breast-feeding, but learned from the doctors that I actually had "significant" blood loss, so that explained a lot. Glad my body craved very clearly what I needed. I don't think the extent of how much surgery I had, and how hard it was on my body, really sunk in until much later. The bladder surgery wasn't just fixing some cuts; the doctor recently referred to it as "reconstruction."

It's healing well, and I hope to celebrate final recovery in 2 weeks...

 

<-- Tesla makes a drawing for Aila.

Tesla has been great. Unlike focusing just on Tesla when she was a newborn, I have 2 girls to focus on, albeit Tesla is much easier. But I love seeing Tesla bond with Aila, love showing Aila off, help take care of her, etc.

I have moments where I feel now we are a complete family. Not that something was missing before, but having Aila join us makes sense to me, like she totally fits as if there were already a spot for her.

Aila is growing so fast! I remember being rather sad when I realized how quickly Tesla grew, not being able to hold onto the newborn moments forever. With Aila, I am really just enjoying it. I know that what is yet to come is tons of fun, so I am looking forward to a chubby round baby that Tesla can play with.

Had a chat with a high school friend the other day, and she shared how she has quite a few friends who have had various difficulties, sometimes tragically, having children. I feel so extremly lucky that the million of things that have to happen to have had Aila safely arrive did happen, beginning with Dav agreeing to letting me have a 2nd child. It's a big thing to ask a partner, and I will always be grateful. But when he gets an awesome Father Day gift, I think it's worth it. This year Tesla made a book for Daddy, that included the following quotes:

When I am 7 years old, I want to ride an elehant with you, Daddy.
When I'm 10 years old, I'd like to get my own pet.
When I'm 15 years old, I want to take you out to buy a pink Hello Kitty balloon.
When I'm 18 years old, I want to got out of space in the spacesuit with you.
When Im 21 years old, I want to go in a hot air balloon with you.

And although we are in a very busy mode right now, and I'm not exactly feeling the sexy wife role with my lovely pee bag stuck to my leg, I know over time Dav and I will settle into a manageable rhythm, and refind time for each other.  Meanwhile, I get to watch him be a daddy to Aila, and just have so much love for him.

Comments

[Eva]

Wow - time flies. Aila looks like a very happy baby. You are lucky to have such a great husband/daddy in Dav - imagine being a single mom now! All the best to all Yaginumas big and small!

[Kokochi]

Thanks Eva. I am very lucky indeed.

[twitter.com/anjepani]

Glad you're feeling better!

[Geu]

"I remember being rather sad when I realized how quickly Tesla grew, not being able to hold onto the newborn moments forever." You just described how I've been feeling lately :-) Thanks for helping me change perspective on things!

[Kokochi]

Hi Geysa, Glad my words helped. It is bittersweet...so precious, yet ever-changing. I wrote this when Tesla was born: "The biggest lesson so far is Letting Go. Life is flowing over us, and I'm super aware of its energy at the moment. I'm a part of it, but can't control or hold onto it. It goes... " (http://www.kokochi.com/2006/07/one-week.html) Like then, this hyper awareness of change makes me feel connected to "life" in a special way. Later, the mundane busy parts of life cram in. Now it's special indeed. But nature is smart; our babies will continue to change and provide constant entertainment. It does keep getting better and better. Hugs!!