Last night we babysat Fia...or more like Fia came over to play and then sleep until her parents got home from their dinner. Very easy, and fun for T. After dinner and playing, I ended up offering to put a bit of a movie on for them, and I let Fia choose the movie in spite T's protests. I said Fia was our "guest" so we should let her choose. In the end, I found Curious George that they both wanted to see, but still, I had clearly given priority to Fia.
At bedtime, I then also let Fia choose the book I was to read to them. T protested, but I said again, let's let Fia choose.
This morning, as I drove T to school, I asked if she had fun with Fia last night. T then explained that she had been upset that I kept letting Fia choose. "Mama, that was unfair," she said. And I got it. It was unfair, and I realized that I should have given T more voice to the matter. I had been blind to how I had ignored her perspective, assuming she'd get or learn that Fia, as a guest, should get priority. Not only is Fia more of a sister than a guest at this point, but also, even as a guest, I should be caring about how T feels. Good lesson for mama. I am rather proud and touched that Tesla clearly stated her feelings to me.
When dropping her off at preschool, I spent some time apologizing, saying that I agree, and next time I would be sure to let her choose too. And to make up, I'd get new books at the library so she could choose a book tonight. She requested "four books about dinosaurs." I love my little T.
I'll be at the library at lunch looking for dinosaur books : )
you are such an inspring and amazing mama, mie. huge misses your way... xo, t & sitara
Posted by: t & sitara | 08/02/2010 at 10:55 AM
Wow, she's becoming really mature! I also believe in listening to our little ones, and taking their wishes and desires seriously. Kai LOVES curious George, too, btw (I kinda think he's cute, too!).
Posted by: Eva | 08/02/2010 at 11:05 PM
Tameeza, just wait til Sitara gets older. It's so much fun. Today I got this from Tesla:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kokochi/4858422086/
Posted by: Kokochi | 08/03/2010 at 03:02 PM