Between Sacramento and Reno, I called my mom to check in. They were eating dinner. My mom got Tesla to say 'bye bye' and 'I luv you' to both Dav and I. We were surprised and delighted at how clear she was. The best gift for mommy and daddy!
...we head to the playa. But right now, all I can think of is how we're leaving home, leaving Tesla. She's in great care, and is clearly bonding more and more with my mom, and granny Marie will check in, even spending the night once. Auntie Elida will drop by, and Sofia is close by too. But the fact remains that we have never been away together at the same time...and for so long.
So unlike my previous post where I could feel excitement, now I have a lump in my heart. I still want to go and still look forward to the playa. It's such a special thing Dav and I share, and I'm looking forward to being lovebirds all over. Yet we both feel for our daughter.
Dav made these boxes with pictures of us for each day we will be gone. Beginning today, to introduce this concept to her, Tesla gets to open one box for a yummy surprise. We're even going to put chocolate in, which is truly special since I don't give sweets to her. We're hoping these boxes will help her understand how long she has to wait until we're back...and she can see with each passing day that the end is getting closer.
I'm going to miss my baby sooooo much! And I just hope she doesn't miss us as much as we will miss her!
... Dav and I will be in our RV, probably already in Nevada, getting close to the playa. I have to say I'm quite excited...because this year, without Tesla, it will be wonderful reconnecting time for Dav and I. This is how we first met. We both love the playa and are our best when out there.
I treasure going each year, but the past two years with Tesla, I was so focused on meeting her needs that I didn't have time to to get excited. I was in a different mind-set. It's quite nice to be feeling giddy again, looking forward to walking out on the immense playa, overwhelmed at how big and beautiful it is.
This is thanks to my mom who is flying from Tokyo to be granny to Tesla while we are away. I pick her up on Monday, and am excited to have her at our home!
Today, Tesla woke up on the wrong side...or so it seemed. All was well until her new gym class, which starts at 10:30. She usually naps around 11 or noon, so I knew this was pushing it, but she's been known to take naps later too. She loves gym so all was good at the start. She wore her favorite boots, and enjoyed the trampoline.
Gym is pretty much free play, but they have multiple short circle times with various activities as well. Tesla had zero interest in circle time and kept running off to do her own thing. I tried ignoring her, getting into circle time myself to be an example. I tried coaxing her. And near the end, I simply picked her up and brought her to the circle...partly because I wanted her to chill and learn about circle time, party because I felt a bit pressured to have her participate (even though it's pretty relaxed and circle times were super short followed by play). Anyhow, near the end of the hour, she was agitated, cried loudly, and eventually hit my face as I held her. She's done this before and she knows it's wrong. We all tell her this sternly. So it was a surprise that she hit me, and when we went to a corner to chill/time out, she wailed. Luckily it was time to leave then.
Later tonight, Tesla resisted bath time. So I picked her up and off we went...about which she wailed and cried. Usually, even if she says "no," she'll get into the bubbles and have tons of fun. But today, she cried the whole time, standing in the corner of the tub sulking. I pretended not to care for some time playing with her toys on my own, then when left the bathroom, to see if she'd get bored having a fit on her own, she wailed, "maaaamaaaa." So I pulled the bath plug to finish the turmoil. Then she wailed "noooooo." After nothing seemed to calm her down, I forced her out in spite her protests. She wailed while I dressed her. I can see how if one behaved like this every night, it'd drive a parent crazy.
I put her right into the crib, gathered her entourage that is required - blankie, doggy, horsey, Kitty-chan, and water - and when I handed one over to her, she pushed it away. So I said, "OK, go ne ne without it then" to which she yelled "blankieeeeee, horseeeeey, sob sob sob, doggyyyyyyy." By then Dav came in and took over. She immediately demanded, "song?"
As I went about my business, I heard Dav say, "if you say gomen [sorry], I'll sing a song." He was in there a loooooong time. When he finally came out, he said he got her to whisper, ever so lightly, "gomen." It was so faint, he had to ask her to repeat 5 times! And she knows what it means.
I still don't know what set her off. This has been I think the longest & weirdest upset commotion. Usually we can figure out what's wrong. Wow...she's got spunk! Still...I have to say that I find it cute...
Tesla started gym classes at the local neighborhood place. She loves the trampoline - so much that she keeps running from circle time (even though it's short for toddler attention spans). I'm having to get used to this very active, independent, a bit wild girl. She used to be (or seem to be) the quiet observant type!
Yesterday, we got the RV out from its parking spot in Oakland to prepare for Burning Man. We've been so busy, especially with our summer travels, that only recently have I started to feel the excitement about Burning Man. I'm half anxious, however, about leaving Tesla home, even though she will be spoiled by my mom. I'll miss Tesla, I know. Yet, this year will be special since it'll be like a honeymoon for Dav and I. We'll get to spend quality time together like we used to, at this city where we first met.
We stopped by my brother's for dinner, parking the RV in their driveway so everyone, including neighborhood kids, could add some color and fun to the RV. Slowly, over the last 2 years, the RV has become more personalized, more meaningful than the old brown it once was. It was super cute to have the kids paint, and they loved having free reign to paint such a big car. And thanks to Ian and Izumi who added some really nice touches!
June 10, 2008 to August 7, 2008
You have inspired and moved many people in your short time, taught us how to appreciate and treasure life, never taking for granted each moment we have together. Your spirit is strong, and will be with us forever. Thank you. Words are much too inadequate. I gave incense for you today, asking all our ancestor spirits to welcome you and love you as we do here.



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