My grandmother Laura

My grandmother Laura passed away today. She was 91.

I met her several times as a kid before moving to Tokyo, but memory became fuzzy. It wasn't until I was an adult, living back in the U.S. that I really got to know her. I had heard many stories from my family, and she seemed so fabulous, glamorous, and so-not-a-grandmother in the traditional sense. I called her Laura for a long time, until one day, she flat out told me to start calling her Grandmother. That's when we started to get close.

She was the kind of grandmother who had life stories to inform any young adult how to navigate  life issues. She lived really an amazing life, and within her stories, she shared what it meant to be a woman. Her era was different from mine, but I learned a lot from her. She inspired me to get  comfortable with my own desire to want a lot out of life, to not settle.

At one important time, when I was dealing with some issues, she spoke to me as if she'd taken her grandmother hat off, and person to person, told me what to do. Best advice ever. I will miss her, and sharing with her how my life unfolds.

My uncle wrote:

She had a fascinating life, and lived it fully.  She did more in one lifetime than many could do in several.  She was an actress, singer, classical and popular music pianist, fine artist, writer, world traveler, founder of “The Realm” Playwrights group, diplomat’s wife and Mother of three.

And it's true. Her marriage to a diplomat took her to foreign countries, which back in the day was rather rare. The parties she went to and the people she met! She took some time off by herself and hung out in Macao in probably her 30s. She visited my Japanese grandparents, arriving on a boat with so much luggage that my grandfather had to recruit 3 cars.

Of all her stories, what touched me most was her telling when she met my grandfather Dick (who passed away when I was very young). My dad and uncle's biological mother died during childbirth. So when my grandmother, at the age around 22 or so, came to my grandfather, my dad was maybe 5 or 6. So marrying Dick meant becoming a mother of 2 boys at that age. A key moment she decided to go for it was when my dad, came up to her, and asked, "will you be my mother?" She told me that many times, and I know they have a very special bond.

By the time I really got to know her, she was living alone, painting and writing plays. One even got to off-broadway. I'm glad Tesla got to meet her even though she was just a baby. And I'm glad I got time with her too.

It's very strange now; I have no grandparents.

I will miss you, grandmother. Rest in peace.