Kokochi

This is me

...but I need (yes, I need to share with the world wide web) to say that I just came home from a wonderful but short evening at Morena...my old neighborhood bar run by an amazing woman named Kyoko-san. I used to live 5 minutes from there. I would visit after a night out when I wanted to wind down before bed. I used to visit after a day of work and wanted a little company before heading home. I used to visit if I wanted to meet up, by chance, with other neighborhood visitors I got to know there.

And it was very hard tonight (and yes, a bit sad too, since I'm on the emotional side) to leave in time to catch the last Yokohama-bound train to get home to my parents. It was hard because every cell in my body wanted to turn right down the dark but comforting road that led to my old apartment, past the kaiseki restuarant that only takes reservations for the lucky 5 who can eat there, past the intersection where there are 3 vending machines where I used to buy tea on the way home, past the various houses that had plants I watched grow over the seasons, past the skillfully parked cars sleeping in tiny garages that I once took pictures of as I walked home and promptly moblogged, past the elementary school that was quiet at night but beautiful because it had a school yard with trees and open space, and finally, to my faithful home of 2 years that was the best place to live in Tokyo in my mind.

I couldn't turn right. I no longer live there. But I felt that I 'should' turn there.

Yeah, yeah. I'm allowing myself to feel all this and I'm posting it since this forum has become a method for me to express and process what goes on inside me. At times I'll write about missing black socks or about a new hat I bought. Now, however, I need to write about whatever this is all about; a business trip that turned out to be a meaningful re-connection with a location full of wonderful memories.

Since I don't have

Since I don't have my phone to update you instantly, I struggle with experiencing so much each day and not posting about it. These photos are from a dinner on Tuesday! It was a traditional 'irori' grill dinner with beautiful vegetables, fish, and meat bites that were cooked individually before us. It was a wonderful dinner and I used Seki-san's camera so I could get snippets of it. It feels weird, however, to post this now since so much time has past.

Since then, over the past few days, I've experienced so many other things, met up with old pals from my Tokyo days, and had many thoughts run through my head. I want to share all this. Yet I'm not used to having to sit down, days later, to organize what I want to say. I miss being able to post random thoughts as they come up during my bumbling everyday life.

The gist, I guess, is that I'm having a fabulous time. I'm getting to catch up with groups of friends and it feels like I haven't left. It's comforting that I can be here and still find pieces of my old life. It's reassuring that I can live in SF and keep a parts of Tokyo. My worlds don't have to be so divided.

And as I ease back into being here, I'm also reconnecting with aspects of myself that I don't emphasize when in SF. I really am a 'context' person. It's not that I'm two-sided, but I definitely react and adjust to people around me. So when here, I am a little different and think/care about things that I don't in SF.

I suppose it's back to the cultural debate that always goes on within me. Having only a week here, and this being my first time back since I moved to SF, there's been a cultural leap. This surprises me and I find myself constantly thinking about what SF and Tokyo mean to me. Although I've been in SF for a little over 7 months now, I'm realizing it takes quite a lot of time for me to fully adjust. When moving to a new place, initially, everything is new and getting life in order is the focus. Now I'm comfortable and have a rhythm. So I'm finding the adjustment process is more internal and deep. SF life is busy and full of fun distractions so I haven't been conscious of the internal adjustments...Now that I am back here, I'm remembering my old life and old self, and noticing I have changed.

In what way though? What am I gaining or losing? What do I want to gain or lose? I'm amazingly happy, so does it matter anyway? If there are aspects of myself that I miss while being in the Tokyo context, can I import that by being more conscious of how I've changed?

When in Tokyo, I feel more American because I am different and can never be fully Japanese. When in the States, I feel more Japanese since there are subtle things I just don't get or take to. I communicate differently, have different connotations for things, and don't see things the way others seem to. As all these questions go through my head, I also wonder why I keep trying to figure all this stuff out.

All I do know is that I'm going to head out to town again today and thoroughly enjoy myself.

I love being here!

It's been a whirlwind since landing here with work, meetings, and running around town. I love it though. To see the quirky details of Tokyo streets, eat beautiful meals served with impeccable service, and hear Japanese all around me! The first night was freezing - I could see my own breath - but now it's warmed up considerably and everywhere we walk, we get glimpses of sakura falling like snow at every gentle breeze.

But it's hard not to have my phone for moblogging. Now that I have somewhat fresher eyes to see Tokyo, I really wish I could moblog. Sigh. Seki-san took this picture of a mango pudding that we had for lunch dessert. It was so cute and Seki-san spotted me looking longingly at it and took a picture for me. He emailed it to me so I can now upload it for this post. Certainly, not my usual method.

After tomorrow night, I will be staying with my parents and will be taking a few days to relax and catch up with friends. That will be very nice.

Yep - your typical airport pics...

I am on my way to Tokyo. For work and a few extra days to visit family and friends, and soak up some good 'natsukashii' Tokyo vibe. My phone won't work there, so I'll post via laptop without pics. I remember that heart-sinking feeling I used to have when Dav drove me to SFO after a blissful visit here when I lived in Tokyo. Now it's different, thankfully, but I will have to part from my parents after seeing them. Can't have it all ... and I certainly am thrilled to visit them. Will touch base with Tokyo friends once settled : )

Coda is waiting

Maile just went out to pick up lunch for all of us and left sweet Coda here. Immediately, she started wandering around the office looking for Maile. Came by my desk to peek out the window. Then sat by the door waiting...She's lying on the floor now, resting. I'm sure she'll jump up and down when Maile comes back. So will we since she'll have our lunch!

dogs at work

The other day Barak had brought in Mocha. Today, Maile brought in Coda. Yes, Coda is huge! But so gentle as if she knows she needs to be careful in how she moves. I wanna hug her mightily, but I would be covered in dog hair from head to toe.

Hmmm, how can I get my cats not to throw Dav and I out if we bring home a dog...

the little joys of life

We had tempura soba tonight. And for dessert, I dug out a box of tiny chocolate hamburger snacks I had bought in Japantown. I just wanted a little chocolate to complete the dinner, but the cute hamburger versions brought a smile to both Dav and I. I just love Japan for creating yummy and oh-so-fun-to-look-at snacks. I'll be in Tokyo next week and be sure I'll be filling my suitcase on the way home with snacks galore!

For friends in Tokyo, I want to see you! Not sure what my schedule will be like since I'll be going for business, but hopefully I'll have a night to dance around and see you!

Everyone should have a store named after them

When I was a kid, I went to Nova Scotia with my parents and brother on vacation. All I really remember is being sea-sick on the boat ride over. I was miserable. I also remember that during a walk around some town, we came across "Ian's Corner Store." My brother Ian was delighted and we promtly took a picture of him casually leaning against the entrance as if he was a very proud owner.

I was a bit jealous cuz having a name like Mie made it harder, no impossible, to find things named after me when we were living in the States. Like those mugs with preprinted names or key chains and what not. I could always find Ian, but never Mie.

Well, Anil came across what I've been waiting for. A splendid restuarant in his NY neighborhood named Mie. Ahhh. Now I just need to get over there so I can snap a picture of me leaning against the entrance way.

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