For the 2nd week of T's school break, I signed her up for winter camp at Tree Frog Treks. T is having a great time, and I am super pleased. Since T is going through her pink pink princess fluffy stage, I am thrilled that she is outdoors all day, digging in dirt for bugs, building fortresses, learning about animals and science, and just getting out of her regular routine. The staff is awesome, and I just love that this organization exists, taking the kids to fully explore the neat outdoors of S.F.
Their office is full of cool beings - tortoises, an albino snake, turtles, lizards, and other things I just don't know the same of. T initially was shy, but she has warmed up to them.
I don't think T ever jumped into a big pile of leaves. Such a city girl. But here she did!
This year we actually got a lot of Christmas. It's been low-key in the past, but this year, Tesla requested from months ago to get a "triangle tree" so we did. We went to a nice lot down by the Embarcadero overlooking the bridge, and let T choose one. Smells nice! Lizze added a wreath on the door, and the house was ready.
We had a few decorations from the past where we decked out a houseplant, but since we had a whole tree this year, I invited folks over for a crafty afternoon, and we made decorations.
Thanks to generous family, we actually had tons of presents under the tree.
I took a day off from work, and took Tesla to see the Nutcracker. What a beautiful fancy show. While we waited for the doors to open, they showered gentle fake snow. When we walked in, all kids got a teddy bear, and at intermission, they served free cookies and juice. The show was gorgeous.
We got to pose with dancers before the show.
Another night, we headed to my brother's street in Alameda that is famous for the whole neighborhood show. They have a santa there (who spent a lot of time with each child) (my brother has been Santa; neighbors take turns), and a mailbox to Santa that actually resulted in a letter back to Tesla signed by Santa. And there was a show of dancing christmas trees, I kid you not.
And finally, Christmas Day: T woke up at the crack of dawn, but I made her let me snooze until at least it was light. Then the opening fun!
Aila got many cute things and toys, including these precious bunny slippers.
After breakfast, we went to the Aquatic Park Beach by Ghirardelli Square. T attempted to ride on a bike (and strained daddy's back since he had to hold her up), we settled on the beach for the afternoon, and let T get crazy sandy/dirty/happy.
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
Having kids together definitely brings a couple closer in ways one doesn't think about until there are kids. Before, we were 2 individuals who came together because, well, we dug each other a lot. That hasn't changed, but now we have many more layers in who we are and what we do together.
I remember before Tesla was born, my main concern was maintaining my closeness to Dav, and I vowed to make that a priority. I still do, but we are in that intense mode right now where keeping healthy food in the fridge, kids clean, and a modicum of sleep is also priority, so by the time I have a moment for Dav, it is in short snippets only. In those snippets, we relish a long hug, or a kiss (Tesla now thinks it is funny that we kiss, i.e. we are just her parents, not 2 people in love). And we know at the end of the tunnel, we will enjoy our date nights again (ie. I won't beg to go home early because I feel the need to be with the baby), and hopefully get some of our old groove back.
But it's a journey. And through all this, I feel Dav and I are intertwining on a deeper level; our roots are growing together. Although we have less romantic time right now, I am appreciating the true team I feel we are being - building a family, building our careers, figuring out our long-term goals and dreams, learning what lessons we need to teach our children, and simply growing older together.
A long time ago, when I first met Dav on the playa but then flew back to my home in Tokyo, I wrote to a mutual friend that I had this feeling about Dav. Even though we had just met, I totally imagined us old together. Perhaps we'd be in some retirement home, he in a wheelchair that I'd push around. He'd wear a hat I had knitted, bright in color with cute animal ears on it. Or something like that.
Not that we are that old, but this period in our lives is highlighting what I noticed less before: the mundane everyday that we are creating together into a combined story. Dav is my romantic partner but also my life partner in all senses of the word.
The other morning, I asked Tesla to watch Aila while I took a shower. I placed Aila in her crib, and told Tesla not to attempt to take her out if she cried, but to distract her. I feared Aila would be hurt if T tried to get her over the crib edge.
When I got out of the shower, all was good and quiet. I went to see them, and found Tesla in Aila's crib. Now that is one smart way to take care of Aila. T is such a good big sister. Really.
T, Aila, and I went to Nihonmachi Little Friends to participate in their annual mochitsuki festival. After both preschool and after school program kids did a performance, we all gathered around for rice pounding, then enjoyed fresh mochi (beats anything you can get in a store), and Tesla played on the old monkey bars she was used to from preschool. We got to see her old teachers, and it was nice to visit back to her preschool.
Pounding:
It's done!
Watching the mochitsuki, I felt so happy I could share this with Tesla while being in S.F., and as part of her school community so it's not like I was dragging her to some foreign cultural thing. I hope, for her, it is normal to have such Japanese events part of her year.
Fresh mochi is soooooo good. Served with nori, kinako, and anko. Yum!
Gran Marie, who cares for Aila while I am at work, sends me pretty much everyday a cute picture that makes my day. I see what they are up to, and know Aila is in such loving hands. I've been saving them on my desktop, viewing them from time to time. These pictures are so precious to me.
Gran Marie's titles crack me up:
Baby in a barrel ! Happy because she pooped!
At the trough
Record breaking nap from 7:45 & still sleeping
Thanks Mom! I'm such a mellow baby now, so thanks for giving up coffee!
Too adorable!
Your beautiful flower
South o the border w/ Uncle Marcus
At beach w/ Granny -->[Granny = Aila and T's great grandma. Aila wearing an outfit Granny gave T!]
Now is Gran Marie awesome or what? I could not work without her.
With little time to sit around blogging, most of my documentation has been simple flickr uploading, but there are a few memories I want to keep here.
By far, the most pleasure is seeing Tesla love Aila. We have never seen a modicum of jealously, and she has been nothing but helpful in caring for Aila. Even better, Aila is beginning to respond, and although she gets rough-housed a bit by Tesla, I can tell they are establishing a bond. So cool to see. Even just sleeping together is cute.
As Aila develops, the best part is her laughing. Her laugh is like a burst of happiness escaping from her belly through her gummy smile. I keep trying to video it but it's hard. Here Dav had her going...until I tried to capture it and got just one laugh ...
Tesla is definitely learning Japanese at her school. She still doesn't speak much, but she sure loves her hiragana. She drew this the other day, writing せんたき (laundry machine). Missed a く but close enough. I was impressed.
Since time is precious and fast - at the rate T and A are growing - it's moments like these that make life good. Daddys reading to the girl gang. Here Dav is reading, and you can see JR's feet, but other times JR reads. I love that they do this, and that our girls are growing up together. This makes life sweet indeed.
Oh, and Halloween!! I love Halloween. The Regenbogens rocked it once again, this time with a house full of decorations. Seriously, it was amazing in detail with much to look at. And a table of heads...with one real head to snap at unsuspecting visitors...it was the freakest part of the haunted house. And completely awesome.
Isn't it cool as a kid to be involved in an annual haunted house? Oh wait, this year T got in trouble, - er um, major trouble, so she wasn't able to go. But still, below are 3 generations. Yes, that scary being is T and A's grandmother, ready for Halloween. She knows how to dress!
Thanks to Rachel, I have many very useful baby things that I would never buy for myself. I have used the Moby she gave pretty much everyday. I just started using the Baby Hawk, which is very similar to the Ergo which I love too. The Baby Hawk reminds me of baby carriers I saw in Japan growing up. Now I see Ergos and whatnot in Tokyo but back in the day, they had carriers just like this. Aila likes being stuck to me so it's very helpful to hoist her on my back as I cook. Thanks, Rachel : )
I keep saying this, but we are busy. Talking to another 2 kid parent, I nodded when they said, "it's intense." I can really say, other than when I'm sleeping, my time is for others. Even blogging, I post in increments thinking of Tesla and Aila & how they might get something out of it, but it is hard to prioritize time for it.
Friends have been amazing ...offering so much help, reminding me I need to have me time. Doing a creative project or spending time alone just seems bizarre now. I am exaggerating a tad, but really, it's not that far off.
Yet, it's totally worth it. I love Aila so much, and Tesla is such a part of my being while I watch as she grows. I love seeing them as sisters, and at times, take a step back to observe them. Tesla is growing up as a big sister, and Aila will never know life without Tesla.
With just Tesla, I felt I handled mamahood with relative ease. Going back to work was a transition and I remember breaking down at times. Now, that seems easy. My life now is more complicated with scheduling and keeping up. Thus the "intense" feeling.
To document, our weekday routine is something like this:
6am, NPR wakes me up. I get 15 minutes of luxurious NPR in the bed.
Shower and dress by 6:30, during which I start turning on hallway light to gently wake up T.
6:30 til 7:00 I make T's breakfast and bento, while I coax her up unless she's up herself in which case she spends time talking to Aila, in which case I have to push her to get dressed.
7:00 to 7:15 get all our stuff ready, Dav is up, Marie helps with Aila if awake , T brushes teeth, I do her hair, she gets socks (which takes forever). I yell that we need to leave. I make sure I have milk pump & cooler with fresh ice packs and clean containers.
7:25 ideally we are out the door, but between shoes and walking to car, it's 7:30 by the time I drive away.
Park, and walk or run to Rosa Parks with T to do Rajio Taiso morning exercises, we go together to the classroom, I help her get settled.
I drive to work, use brain in an adult way, and try not to miss pumping around 11 and 3.
5:30 head back. Stress about getting home in time.
Open door, drop stuff, put on moby, attach Aila who needs mama time, say Hi to T, start cooking dinner. Start laundry, check T's school bag and get bento box to clean, try to eat all together at table, try to have a bit of connection time with T, if time bathe, but many times it's bed time by the time we are done eating.
7:30 Jammies & story time. Dav is a rock star with the jammies & story time routine.
Put Aila down. Sit on sofa and veg. Maybe watch something but usually fall asleep before 10. Or if Aila is fussy and I deal with her til she crashes.
I keep thinking of many families who work like this, but with horrendous commutes, or not so great child care, or with little pay. I have much more appreciation for how hard that must be.
Aila with her cousin Hunter. Gran Marie took her to visit today.
Tesla also has a cousin close in age, Maria-Rose, and they grew up as babies together too.
Both Dav and I did not grow up in S.F., so are incredibly lucky to choose this city AND have a huge family here. I did not meet my cousins until later in life, so for Tesla and Aila to be surrounded by family is pretty awesome.
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